The Great Car War
The Great Car War
A hypothetical war question posed by LeafsMatrix
If all cars at once turned on humanity could the US Army beat them?
Can Humans Win? Story Arc:
Humans can win... but only in the most desperate, ruthless, no-holds-barred, "we're all going down together if we have to" scenario. This isn't heroic triumph; it's scorched-earth survival through exploiting every single faction's Achilles' heel, combined with humanity's signature strengths: ingenuity, spite, willingness to self-destruct, and the ability to weaponize literally anything (including our own extinction).
Premise: The war has raged for weeks. Lions have depopulated cities, cars have gridlocked continents and started self-replicating in dark factories, FNAF animatronics terrorize military bases at night, Pokémon Legendaries reshape terrain and rewrite physics in pockets, and Goku is bouncing around vaporizing armies for fun (because "this is a great training arc!"). Humanity is down to ~1–2 billion survivors, scattered in bunkers, remote islands, underground vaults, and fortified holdouts. Morale is gone—it's pure "if we die, everything dies" rage. Humans activate the final protocol: total planetary denial. No mercy, no survivors, no future. The goal isn't conquest; it's ensuring no faction can claim a functional world.
Step 1: Exploit Goku's Core Weaknesses (Heart + Overconfidence + Need for a Good Fight) Goku's biggest vulnerabilities are well-documented: He holds back to make fights fun, powers down when he thinks it's over, and trusts too easily.
He has a pure heart—emotional appeals or family/friend threats can distract him.
Stamina drain in prolonged high forms (UI taxes him over time).
Classic Saiyan flaw: He loves a challenge and rarely goes all-out immediately against "weak" opponents.
Human play: Broadcast a global challenge via every surviving satellite/radio/hacker network.
"Son Goku, the strongest warriors on Earth are ready—Arceus, Springtrap fused with a billion lions, the entire car horde as your ultimate opponent. But only if you fight them all at once, no holding back. Prove you're the best by taking them head-on."
Goku, being Goku, can't resist. He agrees to a "grand tournament" on a neutral continent (say, Antarctica—remote, no civilians left). He flies in, powers up to full True UI, and dives into the biggest brawl ever. Result: Goku speed-blitzes and vaporizes trillions of lions, shreds car swarms with shockwaves, one-shots FNAF animatronics (no remnant survives a hakai-level punch), and clashes directly with Arceus/Dialga/Palkia in reality-shaking fights. The other factions tear each other apart trying to focus him—cars ram lions mid-leap, Pokémon Judgment-spam hits Goku but also collateral-damages lion pyramids, FNAF try to possess cars but get shredded in crossfire. Goku wins the brawl... but exhausts himself massively against the god-tiers. While he's catching his breath (classic Goku moment: "Whew, that was awesome!"), humans strike.
Step 2: The Kill Switch – Global Cascading CatastropheWhile Goku's distracted: Nuclear + Dirty Bomb Saturation: Every remaining silo, sub, and hidden stockpile launches. Not at Goku (he'd dodge), but at key infrastructure: Car replication factories (China's dark plants, Tesla Gigafactories, etc.) → EMP-hardened nukes + cobalt-salted dirty bombs to make areas uninhabitable for centuries.
Lion spawning/feeding grounds (former cities full of corpses) → firestorms + radiation to poison food chains.
Pokémon Legendaries' "domains" (where Arceus warps reality) → targeted strikes to disrupt anchors (e.g., hit Terapagos crystals or Necrozma light sources).
Bioweapons Release: Engineered plagues tailored to organic threats—lion-specific viruses (fast-acting hemorrhagic fever), remnant-disrupting nanites for FNAF (inspired by anti-ghost tech concepts), and Pokémon-weakening toxins (targeting type immunities, e.g., massive ozone/UV floods to hurt light-vulnerable mons like Necrozma).
Cyber + EMP Hell: Final global EMP cascade (high-altitude bursts) fries any remaining car electronics, disrupts Pokémon held items/abilities (many rely on tech-like Z-moves or Tera crystals), and shorts FNAF circuits.
Self-Destruct Bunkers: Human holdouts rig geothermal/nuclear reactors to supercritical meltdown if overrun—turning continents into radioactive wastelands.
Goku finishes the mega-battle victorious... but lands in a dying world. Radiation, fallout, poisoned air/water, no food (lions extinct, cars rusted/scrap, Pokémon starved or depowered), and endless storms from Kyogre/Groudon dying clashes. Even Goku needs to eat, breathe, and rest—he can't survive indefinite apocalypse alone. His pure heart might even make him try to help survivors... but there are none left willing.
Step 3: The Bitter "Win" Humanity doesn't survive as a species. But no other faction claims Earth either: Cars: Factories gone, global grid fried, no raw materials in irradiated hellscape.
Lions: Extinct from starvation + bioweapons.
FNAF: Dismantled/possessed hosts irradiated beyond remnant viability.
Pokémon: Legendaries either dead, depowered, or fled through portals (Hoopa/Mewtwo might escape, but the rest starve in a barren world).
Goku: Stranded on a lifeless rock, training alone forever... or eventually dying of old age/exposure (even Saiyans aren't immortal).
Humans "win" by turning the planet into a tomb no one wants.
It's the ultimate Pyrrhic victory: "If we can't have it, nobody can."