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| Below is a collection of '''Zeus' favourite Copypastas''', handpicked from the mortal internet.
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| == 1. The Navy SEAL (The Classic) ==
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| <blockquote>
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| What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.
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| </blockquote>
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| == 2. The Gaming Laptop ==
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| Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark.
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| </blockquote>
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| == 3. The Walrus Dream ==
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| Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there's a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I'm different. On December 14th, I'm moving to Antarctica; home of the greatest walruses. I've already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus ever.
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| </blockquote>
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| == 4. Home Defense (As the Founding Fathers Intended) ==
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| Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. Just as the founding fathers intended.
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| </blockquote>
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| == 5. The E-Date Confession ==
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| Can we honestly e-date? You're so beautiful. You always make me laugh, you always make me smile. You literally make me want to become a better person... I really enjoy every moment we spend together. My time has no value unless its spent with you. I tell everyone of my irls how awesome you are. Thank you for being you. Whenever you need someone to be there for you, know that i'll always be right there by your side. I love you so much.
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| </blockquote>
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| == 6. The Insane Insult ==
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| Shut yo skin tone chicken bone google chrome no home flip phone disowned ice cream cone garden gnome extra chromosome metronome dimmadome xy genome monochrome indiana jones overgrown flint stone full blown hormone friend zone sylvester stallone kill zone methadone thunderdome eldritch tome cosmodrome flying drone avantgardengnome face outta here.
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| </blockquote>
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